I’ve given up my Apple Watch for mechanical watches recently. It started with a fascination for the mechanical world, and ended with me realizing that my daily smart watch wear over the last ~8 years distorted my relationship with my body.

My typical day looked something like this: wake up and check my sleep scores across 2 apps, then open “Training Today,” which gave me a readiness score. Those two actions would set up my activity schedule for the day. Good sleep and readiness score? I’ll do something physical. Bad sleep and low score? Take it easy.

I thought this was teaching me to understand my body. I was trying to associate data with feelings. Even if I felt off. It didn’t actually matter how I felt. What mattered was what my watch told me I should feel. I was being logical about my body, not intuitive.

Putting my Apple Watch to the side wasn’t because of this sudden understanding about its effects on my mental health. It was me falling into the watch collecting rabbit hole. The stories behind some brands and their pieces captivated me. It started innocently with a Casio then turned into buying a limited-run piece from a French micro-brand at a timepiece show.

This switch to mechanical watches enabled an, unexpectedly, much deeper connection to my body. No more looking at stats to figure out how I slept, or how my workout went. No more heart rate anxiety due to a number when doing cardio or exercise. I can just sit with my feelings and not worry about the numbers. When I wake up, I let the morning unfold a bit and sit with how I’m feeling. I’ll base my decisions on that instead of my readiness score.

It seems the features I thought were there to help me understand myself, were actually making my generalized anxiety + panic + OCD disorders worse. It gave me anchors to “check” against to see if I was “healthy.” What I’ve been finding is I’m more willing to push myself without these stats. I’m also more willing to put the brakes on things when I don’t feel well. No more questioning: “Why do I feel bad if my readiness score is high?” No more making myself sick because I’m over exerting myself by trusting the data, not my body.

I can’t say with 100% certainty that the data was accurate or that my current methods are better. But, that’s not what matters. Because mentally I’m in a better place. And that has more weight towards staying physically healthy. They feed each other. If I’m not mentally primed, I can’t be physically primed and vice versa.

The Apple Watch does still have its place: rough caloric estimations and general fitness markers. But, I’m going to be much more intentional about measuring those things. Only wearing it during planned physical activity. Not during sleep. Not socially. Not going out for a walk. I don’t need the notifications, I don’t need the constant monitoring. The quiet and self-trust are more important than the data.